Tuesday, October 27, 2009
I am torn on whether I want to have more children or not. There are days when my children are well behaved and I get a glimmer of hope that someday I would like to have more. Then there are days when my children don't sleep well and I try to convince myself I am totally done. I know I could handle more if it was put in my lap but I am not sure if I can convince myself to do it because I want to. The Man would love to have one or two more children. He doesn't get the full effect of the children as he works long hours and because he is in the military he has to leave home every so often with me to take care of everything on my own. He is a very good help when he is home. He loves to play with the kids and read to them and help them learn new things. He is also a great help with house chores when I ask. I didn't get my tubes tied after my 3rd because I wasn't sure if I was done or not. It is now 11 months later and I still just don't know. I hope that someday I will be able to come to a set decision that I will not regret.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Breastfeeding is the perfect food for a baby. It is free and always ready when needed. I am almost 11 months in on breastfeeding my 3rd child and I will say while it is convenient and free there are days (like today) when I wish he would just take a bottle of something so I could escape for a while. I find it awful that I feel this way since it is the best thing for him but I am counting down the days til he will wean so I can have my body back. I fought so hard with my first child to breastfeed only to have to end up feeding him formula and bottles. I did everything possible. Went to lactation consultants, went to doctors, went to the hospital clinic that specialized in helping moms breastfeed their children and it failed me. I felt like a horrible failure for years. So when I had my second child I tried again. It worked!!! It was great and I never regretted it. I only got slightly grumpy after 10-11 months of not one single full night of sleep but I enjoyed breastfeeding. This time I have been lucky to have him breastfeed so well but he refuses to take a bottle and will not sleep through a single night. I am exhausted and sore on my nipples where his teeth happen to rub.